Two is Good, Three May Be Better
by scribblernamedmeg
Summary: Ever get that feeling that Mr. Captain-with-a-shield wasn't as bad with women as he seemed to be? Yeah, Elaine got that feeling too. After crashing a party, she finds herself running into Steve more often. Then, the rest of the merry gang is suddenly in her life, much to her dismay. Sure, she wanted some adventure, but this may be too much for her to handle.
1. Chapter 1

**((Hi all! Scribbler here.**

 **So, this story may get a little steamy, seeing as its based off a dream I had and I'm like any red-blooded woman when it comes to Steve/Captain America and Thor. Also, the characters may get a little OOC, but I'm hoping to keep everything as normal as possible. My character is probably going to end up being a little teensy bit of a Mary-Sue, but come on, what character isn't. Elaine will have her flaws like any other person, I promise.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING. Except Elaine. And Hercules. And Maura. (aka please don't sue, I've got a dog to love on and a cat to be a slave to.)**

 **Hopefully you'll enjoy my brain-child and please let me know what you want to see happen.))**

Chapter 1

In which we meet our Main Lady.

Some people, when they get frustrated while on the job, slam their phones down in the cradle. Some grit their teeth and type furiously. Some stand up and take a lap around the office. All of these methods are usually quiet, so as to not disturb the peace. Some even take a bathroom break and take their frustration out by concentrating on ... well, pooping.

Some people, like Elaine Maddox of Camelot Insurance, preferred a more... violent approach. Such as slamming her head onto her desk, headset threatening to fall out of her ear, hands clenched in a fist around a pen and highlighter. Unintelligible noises fell from her mouth, along with a few curse words here and there.

Her co-workers, used to her antics, just peered over the tops of their cubicles and shook their heads at each other. Only one man braved the head-pounding woman and approached cautiously.

"Elaine?" the big black man asked softly," Everything ok?"

The strawberry blonde woman stopped hitting her head and let it rest on the desk, sighing as her hands loosened.

"Peachy-keen, Larry." she groaned. "Just learned I've got to stay late to process paperwork on some claims from the New York attack. And I've given myself a headache."

Larry relaxed and a slow grin spread on his face now that the head-to-desk session had stopped and she was speaking in full sentences.

"I've got some Ibuprofen somewhere in my drawers." He drawled. "I'll give it to you, but only if you promise to not to dent your desk again."

"You are a saint." Elaine lifted her head, and dark green eyes peered up at him through tousled bangs. Wincing, she lifted a hand and gently poked the reddening spot on her forehead. "I've really got to stop hitting my head." she grumbled.

"Maybe using a stress ball would help." a woman piped up from the adjacent cubicle, and Elaine looked over her shoulder at her. "Just sayin'. It helps me all the time." she grinned, tossing a brown ringlet over her shoulder.

"Last time I used a stress ball was in college." Elaine mused, using a pencil to tie her long hair back in a bun, then turned back to the brunette. "You know what, Maura, I just might. After I take something for my current headache." She added slyly, making both Maura and Larry laugh.

Taking the not-so-subtle hint, Larry left the cubicle, chuckling and shaking his head at the antics of his co-workers.

Winking at her friend, Maura lifted a hand to rest her chin on.

"So, any big plans for the weekend?" she asked, grinning at the droll look Elaine shot her.

"You mean after I get the claim paperwork done, finish painting my bedroom, wash the dog, do laundry and cook enough food to last me a week?" Elaine droned, "I may just shoot myself in the foot to avoid doing anything and finally get to relax on my two days off."

Maura laughed, drawing some appreciative glances from the men in the area, to which Maura smiled, running her fingers though her hair.

With her shiny brown hair curling naturally into ringlets and eyes so light brown they looked gold, not to mention a killer figure that was highlighted by the plain blue pencil skirt, creme blouse and sky high nude heels, Elaine struggled to not feel plain around her gorgeous friend.

There were some advantages to having a model-esque friend though. On the rare occasions that she actually had time to go out and have a good night, Maura never failed to get them into the hottest bars and clubs. On the other hand, if Elaine were ever to have a steady boyfriend, she'd constantly worry about introducing him to Maura, for fear that he'd fall head over heels in lust.

Maura, though she was a flirt herself, had promised Elaine many times that she would restrain herself if she ever got to meet Elaine's special someone, because she was that good of a friend and person.

To this day though, Maura had never had to hold back and Elaine had never the chance to worry about someone leaving her for her friend. It had been a long time since she was last in the intimate company of a member of the opposite sex.

"Come on, Essie." Maura whined, making even that look cute and not like a spoiled brat. "It's been how long since your last wild night of sex?" she asked, seemingly reading her friends mind.

"Five years and counting." Elaine told her, remembering the night with a grin. "Ah, good old college days." she chuckled, then paused. "And now I feel old. Thanks for that." Shooting a mock glare in Maura's direction, Elaine held back the smirk that wanted to appear when Maura rolled her eyes.

"Don't look at me, I'm only a year younger than you." Maura tutted, shaking her head. "You're only as old as you make yourself feel."

"That doesn't make any sense." Elaine muttered, dodging the sharp pencil thrown at her in return.

"I'm serious. You need a night you won't remember the next day." Maura retorted. "I'm leaving for a party tomorrow night at 8, and I can bring a plus one. You know where I live."

With that parting statement, Maura blew an air kiss and disappeared into her own cubicle.

* * *

Six hours later, and five of them after closing time, Elaine was ready to throw in the proverbial towel. Her feet hurt, her hands were cramping from all the typing, her eyes hurt from all the reading and she missed her dog.

Glaring at the last two forms, she shoved them under her keyboard with a sticky note to remind her to do them first thing Monday morning and slid her shoes back on. Triple checking to make sure her computer had saved everything and was shut down fully, Elaine turned off her light and made her way out of the office, waving to the cleaners as she left.

As she walked the few blocks it took her to get home to her small one bedroom apartment, she kept going back to the offer Maura made. It had been a while since she last went out and had a good time with Maura, and it had been a very long time since she ended the night in another man's bed. Hell, it had been almost just as long since she even kissed a man! (Last time she'd hung out with Maura, they'd kissed under the moonlight on a balcony. It would have been pretty romantic if they both hadn't been wasted and hadn't bust out laughing as soon as they'd parted.)

Smiling at the memory, she punched in the code to open the apartment lobby doors, waved to the doorman who managed a half-hearted one in return before going back to snoring again.

The smile fell off her face as she remembered exactly why she hadn't been with a man in five years. Rubbing her lower stomach through her clothes, Elaine shook her head and stepped into the elevator. She had the scar to remind her every time she looked in the mirror after a shower, and while the memory still hurt, it wasn't as painful as it once was. She didn't think about it all the time, but it was always there, waiting for the moment she felt low, ready to bring her even lower.

Once out of the elevator and standing in front of her door, the smile came back when she heard the excited barking from within her apartment. Unlocking the door and sliding in so the bouncing dog couldn't escape, she carelessly dropped her purse, keys and phone onto the waiting table and went to her knees, arms holding the wiggling dog who was desperately trying to cover his owner with gentle kisses.

"Hello buddy." she cooed, rubbing the brown ears, the color extending to around the dogs eyes, contrasting with the rest of his white fur. "Did you miss me? I bet you did, cuz I missed you too." she baby-talked, the happy dog yipping back.

Elaine didn't know why Pit Bulls got such a bad reputation. Her Pit, aptly named Hercules, was the sweetest dog ever, and he'd never even nipped at anyone. That didn't mean that he hadn't growled and showed his teeth, but only because he was protecting her from the evil dust bunnies and cruel wind-chimes.

Giving Hercules one last ear rub, she stood up and he sat down, tongue lolling as he panted happily, tail going a mile a minute as he waited. He knew what was coming next.

Walking to her bedroom, she dropped her clothes on the floor as she went, shoes getting kicked into the kitchen, skirt hung from the bathroom door handle and her blouse tossed into the corner of the bedroom. Shimmying into some leggings and tossing on an oversized tunic, she then went into the big bathroom and wiped off her makeup, pulling her hair from its pencil-held bun and trying it up in a high ponytail.

If she had to be honest with herself, the big bathroom was the main reason she chose the apartment, not because it was close to her work. It was easily the size of her bedroom with a huge tub that she was able to soak in on the rare occasion.

Grabbing the dog's harness from the drawer in the kitchen, she slipped on her running shoes and tucked her phone into her bra for safe keeping.

Whistling, she grinned as the 95 lbs dog pranced up to her, eager to go outside.

"Sit." she said quietly, and was pleased when Hercules' haunches dropped to the ground instantly. "Good boy!" she praised, sliding the harness on, tapping his front legs one after the other so he would raise his paws and step into the harness.

As was their nightly routine, Elaine and Hercules headed for the stairs to scale down the 15 flights of stairs that kept her legs toned on the way up and wiped out the last dregs of Hercules's energy after his run in the dog-park around the corner.

Since there wasn't anyone else around at this time of night, Elaine had no problems with un-hooking the harness from the leash and letting Hercules roam free. There was a tall fence surrounding the dog-park, woven with chain link so not even the smallest chihuahua could escape. As soon as she gave him the word, the big white dog took off, running in circles around her until he tripped, stumbled and then took off again, this time chasing a wandering leaf.

Elaine shook her head as she watched his antics, fondly remembering the first time she took him to the park, which was a week after she first rescued him off the side of the road. Finding a lone bench facing the area Hercules was cavorting in, she sat and turned her head up to the sky, lamenting the smog and pollution that kept her from seeing the stars she missed so much. She missed the stars almost as much as she missed human companionship. Sure, her last relationship was five years ago, but she'd had a roommate till she moved to the city a two years ago. Then, her roommate went and got married, prompting the move from the little rural city in Texas to the big city where she currently lived.

Sitting there alone on a bench at 11 o'clock at night, Elaine pushed past her worries and pulled out her phone, shooting a quick text to Maura.

" _what's the dress code for the party?"_

Before she could rethink her decision, she quickly hit send and took a deep breath, then turned the volume off, knowing that her text-happy friend was about to blow her phone up with happy faces and exclamation points for at least a few minuted before actually telling her the information she needed.

Maybe it was time to get back out and enjoy life to the fullest. Who knows, maybe her boring life would get spiced up enough so she'd have plenty of stories to tell to her grand-kids.


	2. Chapter 2

**((Lucky ducks! A speedy update from the tortoise!**

 **Standard Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING MARVEL/AVENGERS!**

 **You can bet your sweet tushy that if I did, I would probably do unspeakable things to pretty much everyone. I'm a sucker for a pretty face.))**

Chapter 2

In which Elaine gets shmammered.

As Elaine predicted, the first twenty texts from Maura were all emojis, exclamation points and OMG's before she got to the important bit.

" _oh btw, its a black tie thing so GET YO SEXY ON"_

Shaking her head at her crazy friend, who may or may not have been under the influence of the old Armenian creation*, wine. That girl could handle her tequila, vodka and any other liquor fairly well, but give Maura a bottle of wine and she got silly. Frat girl silly. Elaine had a few pictures to prove her point whenever Maura disputed the fact. If that didn't work, all Elaine had to do was point to the hidden tattoo Maura had on her right hipbone. That usually made Maura stop talking and turn a very interesting color of red.

Whistling for Hercules, Elaine mentally went through her closet, putting together a suitable outfit that would keep some male attention, but nothing to take pictures of and imagined on the floor.

Clipping the leash on her pet and closing the dog park gate, she trashed that idea when she realized that she did want to be admired and hopefully even lusted over. Her feminine pride was low on reserves, and to make it all happen, she would have to do some shopping tomorrow. Goodness knows she worked hard enough and made enough money to afford a little shopping spree this once.

A little bubble of giddiness erupted in her chest and she giggled.

God, she loved being a woman.

Next morning, after Hercules's more sedate trip to his outdoor toilet and after the obligatory cup of coffee or three, Elaine got dressed in simple jeans and flowy tank before heading out, but not before making kissy noises to her pup.

Pulling her sunglasses down to cover her eyes, Elaine left her building and started meandering down the row of shops, no real plan in mind. All she knew was that she was going to window shop till something stuck out, and she'd go from there. Maybe she'd get her hair done too, seeing as she couldn't remember the last time she'd gotten a trim. She entertained the idea of getting her nails done as well, but figured that would be pushing it, and she didn't want to seem too desperate. Holding her hand up, she nixed the nail idea by deciding that she liked how they looked with the pale pink coat they currently had.

Just as she was turning the corner to head the other way, still uninspired outfit-wise, a pair of shoes perched innocently in a window caught her eye and everything clicked. Make-up idea? Check. Dress idea? Check. Clutch idea? Check. Jewelry? Check and check.

And just like that, a few hours later and maybe a couple hundred dollars later, Elaine walked back in to her apartment, breathless and excited for the chance to dress up.

Making sure to pat Hercules on the head as she passed by his bed, she dropped her shopping bags on her bed. Finding the bag with her dress in it, she carefully unwrapped the plastic and paper around it before reverently hanging it up in her closet. The shoes that started it all were placed on her dresser, beside the clutch she couldn't resist.

As for the jewelry, she dug into the depths of her closet before emerging victorious with a blue velvet box, worn in spots with age. Inside it was a pearl necklace and earring set that had been passed down to her from her grandmother. Opening the box, she softly ran her fingertips over the spheres, remembering the times she'd sit on her grandmothers bed, watching as she got ready for a date or party. The care with which she'd chosen each article of clothing, as though prepping for battle, had shown and Elaine's grandmother had always looked classy and memorable, without leaving any room for doubt that she was a capable woman in her own right.

Her musings were interrupted by a gentle swelling of cello music, and she leapt over the drooling body of her dog to grab her phone from her purse before it went to voicemail. She didn't like having people leaving voicemails, only because she hated leaving them.

"Lady!" It was Maura, and she sounded excited.

"That's M'Lady, thank you very much." Elaine teased and Maura scoffed.

"Whatever, nerd." Maura sassed, then went right back to being giggly. "Have you started getting ready yet? I have. I'm so excited!"

"I couldn't tell." Elaine muttered. "And no, I just got back from shopping."

"Oooh, shopping! You must really want to get laid. Tell me, did you buy sexy underwear?"

"Who said I was going to be wearing any?"

"You devious whore!"

Elaine busted out laughing at her friends shocked tone. " I'm kidding, geez! I will very much be wearing underwear."

"And now you've crushed my hopes of seeing you do the walk of shame."

"Oh shut up."

After a few more minutes of gabbing, Maura hung up on Elaine right after telling her to 'wash the bitch off and put on the slut".

Tossing an exasperated look at her dark blue ceiling, Elaine dropped her phone back onto her bed and headed to the bathroom to start the beautification process. Showering, shaving, smoothing and snacking was the first order of business. (Snacking was essential. It put food in her stomach so she wouldn't get so drunk later.) Once that was done, then came the fun part: Hair and Makeup.

It had taken a while, but Elaine had perfected what looked good on her and she stuck with what she knew, with a few variations for special occasions.

For this particular one, she went with pink/gold eyes shadow, thickening and lenghtening mascara and a thick wingtip eyeliner for her eyes, an orangey-red lipstick and very little base foundation. Her hair she threw up in a chignon and curled a few strands that framed her face.

After a moment of staring into the mirror and thinking, she pulled out the clear plastic plug that was keeping her Medusa piercing open while she as at work, and exchanged it for a simple silver/diamond one that looked awesome above her upper lip and between the two philtral ridges beneath her nose. Smirking at the thought of Maura's reaction when she saw it, she exchanged the clear plastic plug in her nose for a small sterling silver one that glinted in the light.

Once she was done, she stepped back and looked at her towel clad body. What she saw was what she was used to seeing. Piercings and the few tattoos she had had to be covered up while she was at work. Well, it wasn't enforced. There were a few men and women who showed theirs and nobody even batted an eye. But for some reason, Elaine never felt comfortable showing hers. Call it a repercussion from growing up in a religious household where any body modifications were shunned called evil.

Yanking the towel from her body, she walked naked to her bedroom, and pulled out the new lingerie she'd purchased. A backless bra and a barely there thong with slim garters to hold up the thigh high hose. A thrill went through her body as she stepped into the sexy underwear.

Then, the dress.

Oh, the dress. Call her materialistic, but when she'd found the dress she now pulled off the hanger, little hearts had appeared in her eyes. Low rounded back and a deep v-neck, the black dress clung to her every curve, the lace softening the edges. It hit upper mid-thigh and she loved it. Best of all? It wasn't expensive. Proof that you could look good without spending a fortune.

She might love the shoes a little more though. She should, considering they were the most expensive item she'd ever bought. Shiny black J-sting Louboutin's with the trademark red on the underside, she almost felt a little guilty sliding her feet in and buckling them. Standing up, she admired them for a brief moment before gently taking the string of pearls out from the box and clasping it around her neck. In went the matching earrings, and she was set.

Mostly.

Grabbing her license, credit card and what was left of her cash, she placed them in the red leather clutch, alongside the lipstick she'd thrown in earlier.

Now she was ready. The butterflies were swarming in her belly and she was nervous as hell, but at least she looked good.

Taking a quick glance at the clock on her wall, she cursed and grabbed everything, including a silky shawl (gifted to her on her birthday) before heading out, clicking her tongue so Hercules would follow her out of the bedroom so she could close the door. He had a habit of sleeping on her pillow when she wasn't home, and after coming home to find dog drool where she rested her head at night, she'd learned to keep her bedroom closed when she wasn't around.

Snatching her keys and marveling at the amount of balance she had in the heels, she swiftly locked the door behind her after calling out a "later buddy!" to Hercules. Since she was short on time, she took the elevator and ignored the way the doorman's eyes bugged in his head as he called her a cab. Thankfully, there was one close by and it screeched to a stop.

Climbing in, making sure to not flash the young man who held her door, she rattled off Maura's address and told him he'd get $50 more if he got her there fast. The happy Indian nodded and took off, leaving Elaine to grab onto the handle. Looking down, she noticed that she could see some of the lettering from her thigh tattoo peeking out, and mentally shrugged. Maura had her own tattoos, so finding out she had some wasn't going to be a big deal.

Ten minutes and one happy cab driver later, Elaine stood in front of Maura's door and knocked.

"One second, hold your panties!" Maura yelled, voice garbled as though she had a full mouth.

"Told you I wasn't wearing any!" Elaine called back, chuckling as she stuffed her phone back in the clutch. She was aware of the door opening as she had her head down, but didn't bother to look up.

It wasn't until she noticed the strange silence did she look up. Maura wasn't known for being quiet.

"Ho-ly. Shut the front door!" Maura gasped, jaw hanging open and eyes wide. Elaine's heart stuttered.

"What, is this not right?" she asked, tugging the hem of the dress to try and lower it, only to have Maura slap it away.

"Stop it. You're freaking gorgeous." she said, then her eyes zeroed in on her face. "And freaking sexy! You didn't tell me you had any piercings! I'm totally rethinking the whole straight edge thing about you right now."

"Babe, we french kissed. I thought you would have noticed." Elaine stated, feeling better at Maura's words, then noticed that Maura's neighbor was standing at his door way, and there was some dribble hanging from his open mouth. "How about we go inside?" she muttered, discreetly pointing at the frozen man.

"Hubert, screw off!" Maura shouted, grabbing Elaine's wrist and pulling her in, giving Elaine a chance to look at her friend while laughing at her comment.

"Those are some heels, babe." Elaine commented, eyeing the long legs the tall heels and short skirt provided. "You look amazing." she praised, a sincere grin on her face.

It was true. Maura looked gorgeous in a short black dress with gold decal around the top where it looped around her neck and shoulders. Her curls were arranged to perfection and her makeup was classy and simple, letting her dress speak for her. Her heels were a mile high and probably cost more than what Elaine spent on rent.

Perks of having a famous lawyer for a father.

"Thanks, sweetie." Maura kissed the air in her direction and held up a finger. "Enough about me. Twirl." she commanded, and Elaine did, feeling a little silly and knew there was a blush appearing in her cheeks.

"Well." Maura said and crossed her arms, a knowing grin on her face. "I'm going to have to bring my taser to keep the guys off you."

Elaine laughed and shook her head. She knew she was going to be the one keeping the men of Maura. It's what usually happened.

"Wait, since when do you have a taser?" she asked, knowing how anti-violence Maura was.

"You remember that friend I had back in college? The one who went on the work with an astrophysicist? She strongly recommended I get one after a man almost attacked her out in the field." Maura replied, an odd grin on her face as she eyes Elaine out of the corner of her eyes.

"You're odd." Elaine stated, not liking the look her friend was giving her, but accepting it as something Maura did.

"I know." Maura laughed and gathered up her things. "Come on loser, we're going partying." she cackled and pulled Elaine along as she sped through the apartment building hallways after locking her door.

"Where is this party anyway?" Elaine asked once they were in Maura's Mustang, but her question was drowned out by some guy singing about a diary of someone named Jane.

Twenty minutes later, Elaine knew exactly where the party was, and she was so close to reaching across the center console and throttling her friend, her fingers were twitching.

"Stark Tower." Elaine whispered, teeth clenched as she stared. "The freaking party is at Stark Tower?!"

Yes, Elaine was in the middle of freaking out. The poor valet guy was looking confused as to why they hadn't gotten out yet.

"Will you chill?" Maura laughed. "Yes, the party is here. I got invited purely because of who my father is, but I promise there will be an open bar."

"Like that'll help." Elaine grumbled, but wiped her face of the frown and managed a real smile to the now really confused valet.

"Come on chica. Let's find the booze." Maura breezed by, Elaine following close behind, and flashed her invite at the guard station at the door. "Maura Joseph and plus one." she told him and they were waved in.

"This is so weird." Elaine whispered as they were ushered into an elevator with some other guests.

"This is a Stark party." Maura replied just as quietly and Elaine nodded, knowing that there was truth in the statement.

"Touche."

As the elevator rose, she caught glimpses of other floors as they went by, and watched the reflections of the other passengers as well. Elaine noticed that Maura wasn't wearing the shortest dress, and because Maura's was shorter than hers, she felt better about it. It was a strange piece of logic, even to Elaine, but she went with it.

When the elevator doors opened the noise level increased and everyone spilled out onto the floor. Elaine could have sworn that there were a few catcalls as she and Maura walked out, but chalked it up the the fact that it was a Tony Stark party and anything could happen.

Grabbing a glass of what looked to be champagne off a passing server's tray, she nudged Maura, who grabbed one as well.

"Now what." she mumbled, taking a swig of the bubbly.

"Now, we mingle." Maura muttered back, taking a gulp and pasting on a bright cheery smile. "Remember, open bar. Make use of it."

Elaine laughed and tossed back the rest of her drink with her friend and put them back on another passing tray. Deciding to suck it up, she smiled as well and nodded to the closest group of people, who smiled back and lifted their drinks at her.

"There ya go." Maura praised and looped an arm through hers. "Come with me, I've gotta make a round before we can really start drinking."

True to her statement, Maura led Elaine through the crowd, greeting people by name and introducing her to them. They seemed to genuinely like her when they talked to her, and Elaine decided that maybe this party wouldn't be so bad, as long as she wasn't quizzed on peoples names.

A few hours later, she and Maura, along with a few stragglers they'd picked up, were out on the terrace, occupying a corner with the chairs and fire pit. They'd finished quite a few drinks and Elaine was feeling the buzz, but had decided to only stay buzzed as she had a feeling she was going to be the Designated Driver, after looking at her giggling friend who was leaning on a very appreciative young man while she attempted to go to the bar to get more drinks.

"Well, if it it's my favorite lawyers daughter." a male voice drawled and Maura shrieked and latched onto a suited man who rocked back a bit from the force of the inebriated woman.

"Tony!" she laughed, and stumbled when she let go. Elaine saw a slight movement as though he was about to reach out and grab her to keep from falling, but she blinked and there was the same young man who'd been helping her before and Tony Stark was smirking his usual smirk.

"Where are you going, kiddo? Not leaving yet, are you? The night has just begun." he teased and Maura snorted and pointed an unsteady finger at their little group.

"No, silly. I'm going to get drinks." she giggled, focusing hard on her finger for a brief second before shaking her head. "Elaine ran out of wine and I think Tess and Mark need a refill on rum and coke."

"Wine? Rum and coke?" Tony asked, looking offended. "Are you telling me I hired the best bartenders in the city for you morons to drink wine and rum and coke?"

Maura shrugged and Tony turned to the group.

"Which one of you is Elaine and why are you drinking wine?" he demanded, crossing his arms and Elaine hesitated. She opened her mouth to reply when Maura butted in.

"Essie! Come here!" Maura called, shoving away the bewildered gentleman she'd been using as a crutch.

Elaine rose from her seat, sliding her hands down her hips so her dress wouldn't ride up, and stepped over a smooching couples legs and accepted the hand from Mark (a very witty pastry chef who owned his own bakery) to step over his and his wife's limbs.

"Sorry." Tess muttered, attempting to tuck her long legs under her seat. Elaine shook her head and smiled, silently telling her it was ok, before looking back up and catching Maura when she wobbled on her heels.

"Tony. Tony!" Maura waved her hand in front of Mr. Stark's face, his eyes glazed over and unblinking. The man behind Mr. Stark coughed and shoved his shoulder, causing the billionaire to blink and snap out of whatever trance he was in. "Tony, this is Elaine, the bestest friend. Ever."

"So. Ms. Bestest-Friend-Ever, why are you drinking wine?" Tony asked, his gaze direct and unflinching, sarcasm oozing from his tone.

Elaine met his gaze head on, the alcohol in her system adding some steel to her backbone. Not that there wasn't any, she was an insurance agent for crying out loud.

"Mr. Stark." she greeted, and tipped her head in his direction as a greeting, then looked over at Maura, who was batting her lashes and wiggling her fingers at an admittedly attractive young man behind the bar. Knowing that her friend was no longer listening, she turned her attention back to Tony. "Someone has to make sure she gets home safe. And alive." she added on as an afterthought.

"Boring." Tony snapped, and turned to the large man behind him. "Happy, get these folks each a Death In the Afternoon **." he ordered, then turned back to Elaine and by default, Maura. He stepped closer and spoke quietly so no one else could hear.

"Stay here tonight, both of you. I insist." he said, fishing a small white card from his pocket and pressing it into Elaine's hand, waving off her protests.

Drawing back, he pasted on his bright smile and raised his arms, turning to the people around him, the interaction between him and Elaine lasting no longer than a few seconds and apparently no longer a thought in his mind.

"Let's get wasted, people!" he cried and everyone cheered.

Shaking her head, Elaine tucked the card into her bra and helped Maura over to the empty spot by Tess, who was giggling at something Mark was whispering.

"Excuse me. Pardon me. Hey! I've got drinks in my hands!"

Turning around, Elaine saw the man Mr. Stark had called 'Happy' struggling to get though the crowd without spilling the many drinks he was indeed carrying. Patting Maura's shoulder, she made her way to him and held out her hands.

"Let me help." she offered, holding out her hands. The large man frowned at her, and stared for a second before sighing and handing her two glasses. With a short nod, he led them back to the terrace and handed out the pearly drinks.

Totally ignoring the thanks, he turned around to leave. Just before he did, he looked over his shoulder and spoke.

"Careful, those things are dangerous." he warned, then walked back into the pulsing crowd, bouncing to try and see over everyone's heads in order to find Tony.

Blinking at the warning, she took a tentative sip, as did the others who heard the warning.

"Oooooh." Elaine whispered, drawing back to stare at the glass in her hand. The drink was really good, and deadly strong.

"This is yummy!" Maura cheered and gulped half of it back.

Elaine winced as her friend gasped, hand going to her chest.

"Oh so good." Maura croaked, and everyone laughed, including Elaine, who took another drink.

One drink led to another, and another.

Before long, everyone was wasted, for lack of a better word, and they found everything funny. Which was probably a good thing, seeing as no one could talk in a complete and coherent sentence.

Elaine was a little more capable than the others, including a chortling Maura, a self-proclaimed party girl.

"I - er no - We ish runked." Mark attempted to say, one hand holding his class of... whatever it was. Elaine lost track after the second Death in the Afternoon. His other hand was in his wife's dress and she was pretty sure he was fondling her breast. "Runked? Dunked? Drunked! No... Drunk. Ish." Mark swayed in his seat, eyebrows furrowed as he tried to remember what he was saying.

"Almus runkled!" Tess cheered, panting as her husbands hand moved sharply.

"Drunk. Oh yes." Elaine hiccupped and downed the last of her yummy drink. Blinking and letting out a belch, she covered her mouth in surprise as the others fell apart with laughter. "Water. Need water." she slurred, pushing up off the comfortable seat and stumbling as her head swam.

It was easy to manuever through the throngs of intoxicated people, seeing as almost half of them had left.

Finding a bartender was easy, but getting him was proving to be a challenge. Elaine thought she must have walked into a web or something, as there were streamers draped across her shoulders, around her legs and the floor wasn't staying still. Trying to stay upright, she attempted to focus her hazy eyesight and grab the four streamers that were in front of her face.

"Gerrof!" she muttered, finally grabbing on to the elusive party decoration and pulled it free. "W-The others?" she asked, absolutely confused as suddenly the other three streamers were gone, and her feet felt free again.

Shaking her head to clear her muddy thoughts proved to be a big mistake, and the world swam around her. Waving her arms to stay upright, or as upright as possible, a part of her mind gave up and she braced herself to hitting the hard floor.

To her surprise, she didn't fall, and two warm things were wrapped around her upper arms as they settled her on her feet again.

Scrutinizing the warmth on her hands, a lightbulb went off and she realized they were hands, very big hands. Blinking, she looked straight ahead, prepared to meet someone's gaze but was surprised when she saw a nose. Since when were there men taller than her? Especially when she was in heels?

"Dishrink?" she asked out loud, and another hiccup escaped. Then, she remembered that she'd taken the heels off half-way though her second drink,so she was back to her normal height. "Oh yeah." she swayed and put a hand to her forehead, forgetting about the hands on her arms.

"Are you ok?" a voice asked, shaking her out of her stupor, and she looked up to meet impossibly bright eyes.

"Uh oh." she whispered, eyes wide.

* * *

 **((there ya have it! longest chapter I've ever written.**

 **Oh, Elaine, what have you gotten yourself into.**

 **Anyways. Hope you enjoyed!))**

(* fun fact, it actually was the Armenian's who first made wine in 4100 BC. People were getting plastered before Jesus turned H20 to Maura's Woohoo Juice!)

(** another fun fact, Death in the Afternoon is on DailyMail's Top 10 list of Most Potent Drinks. Yum! This one was created by Ernest Hemingway. Which explains a lot.)


	3. Chapter 3

**(( Scribbler here.**

 **Sorry for the long wait, my friends. Been dealing with family and relationship drama, but I'm back! In the process of saving for a laptop, so hopefully I can update this more often.**

 **Does anyone know someone who wants to be a beta-reader? I'm really bad at catching missing words and the like. Or, ya know, ya'll could point them out too. I don't mind.))**

Chapter Three

In which there are blue eyes and hangovers.

"Are you ok?" the man asked again, and Elaine shook the fuzzy warm thoughts out of her head, trying to ignore the heat spreading though her body at the feeling of his work roughened hands on her arms.

"Yes. I - uh- I need water." She replied after a second, blinking up into the insanely blue eyes that were staring down at her. "I'm drunk." she admitted, hating the slur to her words, but giggling at it all the same. Her voice sounded funny. A hiccup escaped, and she clapped a hand over her mouth. The man who was still keeping her upright grinned at the hiccup, and nodded.

"I can see that, ma'am." He replied and Elaine flushed, feeling embarrassed and oddly turned on. His hands were so warm and big- No!

Gulping, Elaine shoved those thoughts down and felt a wave of sobriety wash over her. Wobbling slightly, she gently eased back till he was no longer holding her arms and raised shaky hands to her hair, smoothing the errant wisps. She opened her mouth to apologize, but the large man in front of her beat her to it, seemingly seeing her embarrassment.

"I believe the bartender by the elevator has water bottles." he said, deep voice settling over her like a warm comforter, easing some of the appearing headache.

"Thank you." She smiled, glancing up through her lashes from where her gaze had drifted to his lips as he spoke. They were full and pink and she couldn't help wondering what they would feel like against hers. It had been so long since she'd had a man touch her, caress her...

God, she was acting like a wanton woman! Her mother would be so ashamed.

Then again, that woman disapproved of pretty much all of her life choices, so it didn't matter all that much.

"Do you need help getting there?" the man spoke, jolting Elaine out of her mental thrashing.

Returning to the present, Elaine ignored his question for a second as she looked over his shoulder to the table which housed the elusive bartender and the precious water bottles. She was dismayed to notice that the route she would have to take included not only a crowd of drunken people attempting to dance, but a set of stairs and plenty of downed decorative ribbon, the same she'd been fighting with before she'd nearly fallen and had been caught by Mr. Gorgeous.

"Maybe?" she admitted sheepishly, sticking to simple answers at the risk of sounding like the drunken fool she felt like.

Why oh why did she have to be this stupidly drunk in front of a man this pretty?

Elaine was really starting to regret drinking as much as she did, though the drunken part of her just giggled and continued to wax on about just how good-looking the man in front of her was, and constantly reminding her just how long it had been since she'd enjoyed the attention from a man, and maybe she should let loose and try flirting her way into his bed.

The tortoise-slow encroaching sober side was putting up a fight by whispering facts and reminding her that she couldn't ditch Maura.

Shoving both voices back, she took the offered arm, that going by the concerned look on Mr. Gorgeous's face had been there a while, and let him lead her in the direction of the much-needed water. Elaine managed to keep the stumbling and swaying to a minimum, and she was immensely thankful to her drunk-self for taking off the killer heels she'd been wearing, pretty though they were.

"Do you come to Stark's parties often?" the man asked, obviously trying to start a conversation. Elaine mentally cringed and braced herself, knowing she'd sound like a fool.

"No, this is my first party." she replied, and applauded herself for not stumbling over her words and feet as she spoke.

"Is it - Are you enjoying yourself?" the man asked, ears turning red at the tips as he changed questions mid sentence. Elaine smothered her grin at his blunder, finding it endearing.

"So far." she admitted. "I'm dreading tomorrow's hangover. I don't normally drink this much." she tacked on, feeling the need to explain her actions, speaking slowly but still slurring her words.

The man nodded in response, and silence fell between them as he helped her maneuver through the crowd. Elaine managed to keep her feet under her, but only by latching onto his arm with both hands. If he minded the extra weight, he didn't say a word, and just carefully moved people over, making their way to the small staircase that would lead to the water she so desperately needed.

Then came the stairs, and Elaine paused, tugging Mr. Gorgeous to a stop with her. Ignoring the blue eyes that looked at her with the obvious question of why they were stopping. Holding up her free hand to signify she needed a moment, she gulped in some air to try and quell the sudden rush of nausea the crowd had brought on. The rapid movements, close quarters and fast paced music were too much for her brain to keep up with, sluggish as it was with alcohol and dead brain cells. Letting go of the supporting arm, she wrapped one around her stomach, the other going to hold her now throbbing head.

"Ugh." she muttered, swaying in her spot.

A warm hand settled at the base of her spine, and a now very concerned voice spoke.

"Are you ok?" Mr. Gorgeous asked and Elaine forced out a chuckle.

"Sobering up." she ground out. "Sucks." she hissed and Mr. Gorgeous hmmed.

"You stay here," he suddenly spoke and guided her to an arm chair under the stairs. "I'll grab the water."

Feeling decidedly gross, nauseous and embarrassed, Elaine sank down into the chair and closed her eyes, feeling the room start to sway.

When Mr. Gorgeous went to leave, she reached out and snagged his wrist.

"Maura. Too drunk. Can't leave her." she managed to say, hoping he'd understand her garble.

There was a pause as he considered her words, and Elaine forced down a whimper as the music thudded and the crowd cheered.

"Do I need to help you and your friend home?" he asked, and the hesitancy was clear as day in his voice.

At first, Elaine considered having him take her and Maura home, weighing the pro's and con's before remembering the white card tucked in her bra.

"Stark gave room key." She fished it out of her bra, ignoring the bashful clearing of the throat from Mr. Gorgeous. With her eyes closed, she held the key out, needing someone else to take charge as her head pounded and refused to cooperate. All she wanted right now was to sleep and bury her face in a pillow.

Fingers gently took the key from her outstretched fingers before wrapping around her hand for a second.

"Wait here." he said, letting go of her wrist and walking off.

Elaine groaned, propping her head up in her hands, her elbows resting on her knees as she leaned forward. She'd really messed up by drinking so much. The last time she'd gotten this drunk was back in college, and she just knew the hangover was going to be killer.

And speaking of killer, she was pretty sure she'd killed any chance she might have had with Mr. Gorgeous.

A pitiful whimper escaped at that thought and she dug the heels of her hands into her temples to try and relieve some of the pressure of her headache. Go figure, the first good looking man who was taller than she was (a big bonus!) and she goes and gets stupid drunk at a stupid Stark party.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

She really was destined to be lonely. Her mother was right.

With a huff, she forced that thought out of her mind and concentrated on not throwing up, lamenting the fact that she still didn't have any water.

"Hey." a familiar voice came closer, and after a moment, Elaine lifted her head to peak one eye open, surprised to see Mr. Gorgeous standing there, a bottle of glorious water in his outstretched hand.

"Bless you." she croaked, reaching for it. Before handing it over, Mr. Gorgeous twisted the lid off and she was acutely aware of his eyes one her as she sipped at the water, the cool liquid sliding welcomely down her throat, quelling the nausea for a while. "I didn't think you'd come back." she said quietly, wincing at how pathetic it sounded.

"Sorry, I had to find someone to help your friend to the room Stark provided." he apologized, hand rubbing at the back of his neck as Elaine stared.

"You really didn't-shouldn't- I mean- Um." Elaine fought to control her mouth, shutting it and taking a breath before trying again. "Thank you."

A corner of the delicious mouth lifted up in a grin, and Elaine swore she felt a 'zing' shoot through her. Taking a gulp of water, she looked away, hoping the low lights would help hide the sudden flush to her cheeks.

Mr. Gorgeous patiently waited as she finished half of the water bottle, and only moved to reach out a hand when Elaine made to stand up, moving slowly.

Accepting the hand as support, she stood, bottle of water clutched tightly in her other hand.

"What room is Maura in?" she asked, eyes not quite meeting his, wanting to crash into bed and sleep until she could sleep no more.

"There might be a problem if you plan on staying with her tonight." Mr. Gorgeous said, hesitating slighty. (She really had to ask him what his name was.)

"Huh?" she asked, then mentally smacked herself for sounding oh-so-eloquent.

"She may have - uh- a bed partner." Mr. Gorgeous evaded, looking anywhere but her. "Or two." he added after a pause.

"That tramp." Elaine said fondly and chuckled, then groaned and clutched her head. Once the pain receded, she sighed, swaying in her spot. "Guess I'll have to get a cab home."

"Uh, about that." Mr. Gorgeous started.

"Don't tell me. No cabs?" she asked, not bothering to hide the sarcasm, but smiled to show that she wasn't upset. There was an odd numbness starting to creep into her body, and she was fighting to keep her eyes open. An exhausted yawn escaped her, even though she tried to fight it.

"There's actually a free room right across the hall from your friend."Mr. Gorgeous finished and reached out to loop an arm around her shoulders as she suddenly staggered.

"I'm so tired." She mumbled, eyes fluttering as she grasped onto the hand that appeared in front of her.

"Come on, I'll take you to the room." Mr. Gorgeous spoke, a note of authority in his voice as Elaine crumpled. She fought the urge to fall asleep right then and there, and gasped when Mr. Gorgeous bent and placed an arm under her knees, picking her up with no problem. She wasn't too far gone to not have a little mental swooning moment at the fact that he did so without a grunt or anything to testify to her weight. In fact, he made it seem like she weighed nothing at all. Her feminine pride probably had little heart eyes right now.

"I'm so sorry." Elaine whispered, peering up at the man who managed to carry her (carry her!) through the room and to the elevator, which he hit with an elbow. "I don't know why-" she left off with a gasp as the door slid open and a crisp British voice spoke.

"What floor do you require, Captain?"

"14th please, Jarvis." The man spoke, chest vibrating under her ear, suddenly tense.

Elaine blinked once, then twice and then a third time as something failed to connect in her brain. There was something about the man who was carrying her and the rank the headless voice called him, but between the need for sleep and the booze, her brain wasn't firing on all cylinders.

The elevator ride was silent, and Elaine spaced out a few times, not willing to completely give in to the pull of sleep yet. She distantly hoped that her dress wasn't showing all her goodies, and briefly tried to remember where she'd left her clutch and shoes, but forgot all about that when Mr. Gorgeous started walking when the door opened.

"I can walk." she whispered, not wanting to disturb the quiet hall. Mr. Gor - Captain Gorgeous paused and looked down on her, blonde hair reflecting the ceiling light like a halo.

"Are you sure?" he asked, one eyebrow raised in doubt.

Not trusting her voice, Elaine nodded and held on to his shoulder as he slowly set her back on the ground. With a slight stumble, Elaine took a step, but righted herself before Mr. Captain Gorgeous could reach out. When he offered his hand, Elaine flushed, hating how she had acted so far and with a slight shake of her head, patted his hand and took another step, waiting for him to lead the way.

Through the haze of alcohol-induced exhaustion, Elaine barely caught the tightening of the lips and the deep furrowed brow before he moved to walk by her side. After that, the only times he touched her were to indicate a left or right when they came to a hallway.

When they came to a stop, she barely managed to keep from running into his solid back.

"This is your room for the night, ma'am." he said, opening the door and stepping to the side so she could enter the room. "Your shoes and purse are on the bed." he stated, and Elaine winced.

She really wished she hadn't had so much to drink.

"Thank you." she whispered again, moving a hand to the door, but paused when she remembered something. "Could I ask a favor of you?"

Cheeks probably flaming with embarrassment, she looked up at those insanely blue eyes and hesitated. God, asking a man this handsome was something she'd never done.

"Yes?" he asked when she hesitated a moment too long.

"Could you un-zip my dress?" she rushed out and cursed herself when he looked away, a flush on his own cheeks. "I'm so sorry, that's - there's no need. I'll be fine." she hurriedly added on, feeling so much shame that she wanted to curl up in a corner and never see the light of day again.

"Turn around." his voice, a little rougher than what it was, stopped her as she made to close the door.

Eyebrows high, she dared a look at him again, and saw him looking at her with a weird little lip quirk.

"Um, ok." she muttered, and paused before slowly turning around, arms wrapping around her front to keep her dress from falling down. She mentally swore when she remembered the backless bra and the sexy underwear she was wearing, and vowed that she would only wear cotton granny panties from now on, just so this would never happen again.

Scratch that, granny panties were horrible. No more Stark parties instead.

Yeah, she liked that resolution much better. She detested granny panties outside of that one week a month. She -

Her mind stuttered to a stop when fingers gently grazed the skin of her back as he undid the hook n' eye before grabbing the zipper. Elaine didn't dare take a breath as he drug the zipper down, knuckles grazing her spine till the zipper reached its end, just above the lacy band of her underwear.

Unable to move, Elaine's heart beat a wild stacatto as Mr. Captain Deadly Gorgeous Man stepped close and whispered in her ear.

"Goodnight." was all he said before the door clicked shut behind him.

Knees weak, Elaine turned around and hurriedly fumbled the lock shut, before collapsing on the floor, a hand holding her dress up, the other one her mouth as she gazed wide-eyed at the piece of wood that kept her in the room and away from Him.

After her heartbeat got under control, she manged to stand up, shuck the dress off and toss the bra onto the floor before falling onto the heavenly soft bed and burrowing into the down comforter.

Her last thought was that of warm breath tickling her ear before she passed out into a booze induced deep sleep.

Not even the moans from three different people across the hall could wake her up, and they got pretty loud.

* * *

 **(( well, I'm not proud of this chapter. It'll work for now, but plan on this being revamped later on.**

 **Hope this is satisfactory to ya'll, and please don't kill me for the long delay.))**


End file.
